After many months of good service and love, I, like many loving couples out there, have decided that I no longer need you blogger. I am moving on to greener pastures. We don't want the same things anymore and I have met someone who makes me happier! I would just like to assure you that its not you its me! You deserve someone better and I hope they find you.
Good bye and if you ever need anything please get in touch with me here!
Hebu adjust your links Y'all
Ati I was been tagged again (twice!) doesn't anyone respect bloggers block anymore? Who is responsible for this tagging business? WHO? OFF WITH THEIR HEAD!
Seeing as I have done this before, I have nothing more to add. So let me steal the format from Klara (yeah kwani there is someone who doesn't know how lazy I am?)
1. Where is your cell phone...switched off
2 Relationship... Cheating
3 Your hair....Dreadlocks
4 Work... Sax
5 Your sisters....Love them (xcept one)
6 Your favorite things.... Football, sex, beer, novels
7 Your dream last night...A bit disturbing
8 Your favorite drink....Water
9 Your dream car....Any convertible
10 The room you're in....UGLY
11 Your shoes... Flat/snickers
12 Your fears....dying alone
13 What do you want to be in 10 years.....still pissed at the world
14 Who did you hang out with this weekend.....Cheating husband (see 2 above)
15 What are you not good at..... Being pitied
16 Muffins? Rarely
17 Wish-list item..Seychelles
18 Where you grew up...School
19 The last thing you did...plagiarised this format!
20 What are you wearing...Jeans
21 What are you not wearing... Aiiii
22 Your favorite pet...NONE
23 Your computer...needs to be flushed in the toilet!
24 Your life...could do with some colour
25 Your mood...wishy washy
26 Missing...Family
27 What are you thinking about....the weekend (see 2 above)
28 Your dream location.....Seychelles
29 Your Ex.....Had better be miserable and/or dead!
30 Your Favorite Item... Ipod
Hey Y'all...........
I know, I know. But life is hard when you are living in the bush.
But me like many others before me have lost blog Mojo! so I am writing this to inform everyone that I have lost blog mojo ( seeeee!)
Anyways, to all my cheering fans, I would like to update you and tell you that I have still not visited Koinange street! Meaning am still smoke free! (jig). Six weeks and counting ( sticking tongue out at all Doubting Thomases)
As for that idiot! (yeah that one- previous post) you will all be very proud to know that I have not yielded to tempation. He is still in the past!
And since this post is titled Patting my self, let me do the final pat by saying am still on the Bilaz train! (yes it is a good thing)
Ok enjoy yourselves....
BTW what happened to Sis bigbones? Any ideas?
Kill me D.E.A.D
Si every one knows am a lazy ass who can't write more than one post a week, but here Iam doing my third of the week! There is a reason people, am not one to break tradition for nothing!
Anyway remember this?
For those who can't be bothered to click, the gist of the story is boy meets girl, boy loves girl, girl loves boy. Boy meets another girl, boy marries other girl! Yada yada yada, heartbreaks galore....Then Karma pays a visit. Seriously click and read its much easier.
Half is to wake up this morning to find an email in my inbox: I will copy part of it:
I know you have heard that (blip name) and I broke up. It does seem like am writing to you because am alone now. But you know me better than that. Even before we broke up with (blip) I had started questioning my decision to break up with you....................
On and on it went in the same vein!
Oh thank you sooo very much, here I was sitting under the mugumo tree for years just waiting for this. As you know my life came to a stand still ever since you left, I have spent the last few years visiting witchdoctors in ukambani and Bakari in coast all in the hopes that you will come back to me!
What is wrong with your ass? Ati I know you better than what? *sticking out tongue* Kubaff! you think you are who? Coming here to disrupt my life! Kwani am I your mother you come crying to me after you have been taught a lesson by life? I need one very (and I mean really really) good reason why I should even read your email! Why I did not block you years ago I dont know, but I guess I thought I would never hear from you again!
Does this man have a disorder or somethin? What on God's earth could have prompted him to think that I will consider what he is saying? Enyewe dudes hebu help me out here? and NO I have never given him any hint that I may take him back!
Aki wacha tu I fika kenya, am calling my dead grandmother, this HINDIOT must disappear! As Pink says: Its just you and your hand tonight!
To more pleasant update:
BAT- minus 2 ( ti hi hi hi)
H 'n'H- 3
Cheering Squad - 3
D1- 4
One of my favourite programs on radio is a BBC program called culture shock! basically reporters go around the world looking for strange trends. So jana ama was it Juzi they had this trend from Antwerp of A hug for a truffle! how it works is that if you see a lonely looking person you give them a chocolate truffle in exchange for a hug! (reverse psychology or something). Anyway for a brief moment I felt all warm and fuzzy thinking of all those hurried looking people in Nairobi who could really use a hug. But then I imagined all the handbags that would go flying on dudes heads! What with all the muggings that takes place in Nairobi! Oh guess not.
Sometimes we get really really bored and have this stupid arguments and questions, so here are some of them: Will reveal my answers in my next post!
Guest blogger! you evil troll!
Actually it is comments like yours that make me more determined! See am one of those annoying people whom you NEVER EVER dare! One day after I stopped some guy said "bet you wont last a week!" Ha who's laughing now!
I have got alot of support and encouragement from alot of bloggers (or as modo calls them- cheering squad) and from D1. That guys is precious! Thank you guys!
ok, am suffering from bloggers block and besides am too busy being pure like a golf course! Hilarious!...............kama hujasoma hebu head over there! It is the only place where am still, and I quote: "so teenage looking, so pubescent…so unchartered…so undiscovered…pure like a golf-course. " priceless!
I have nothing to say except:
BAT - minus 1 ( bei imepanda! they loose twice!)
H n H - 2
Cheering squad - 2
D1 - 3 (well he is not kissing an ash tray anymore!)
Enjoy your weekend Yall
PS: JKE is also on the no smokers band wagon! How is going with you?
Never, ever smoke: your mother was right after all!
Sunday:
smoked the last cigarette! was pretty drunk so really didn't feel anything.... This is too easy. What is the Fuss all about? Finally go to bed at about midnight
Monday 6.30 am
Rise and shine, weekend over. Time to start the week. Due to the over indulgence of the weekend, I did not have time to prepare for the week. So I have to wake up like really really early. I have a funny feeling in my throat! something is missing. Oh well, maybe its just a hangover.
8.00 am: Give away ALL my remaining stock.....
coffee finished...any smoker will tell you that these are the best to smoke:
Actually couldn't think of a title for this post!
Anyway, Ahsanteni all those who publicly and secretly wished me a happy day! I did indeed have a wonderful birthday weekend! the best I have had in a while! aaaaaaaand, (mitoto yote ifunge macho) I did briefly get off the bilaz train! lakini am back in it! (aiiiiii, it was a one weekend stand Y'all).......Yes it was that delectable one!
On to more pleasant news! couple of things happening in my life currently:
Today I turn 21 for the 12th time! ha ha ha am as old as Kenya Y'all
I plan on getting too drunk to remember my name! so enjoy madaraka day!
I thought I would never again post here, but Hey! life happens........still waiting to join the web ring!
Any who's.......I had the best weekend in the longest time. Initially I was at a loss about what to do with myself! See my life is very dependant on two things:
the radio and the Internet! The radio only because I can listen to football! but as everyone knows its the beginning of a long and boring soccerless life. I feel nothing for rugby or round us aka baseball.
So there I was twiddling my thumbs, and having a boring ass discussion about the May blue moon. And then (*drum rolls* ) the creature from out of this world (previously unknown to all of you) makes an appearance with the most beautiful phrase in South Sudan:
would you like to go for a drink? (dude a beer is 250 kshs!)
The man is too beautiful despite the fact the he got me totally and absolutely plastered! The entire weekend....
You know how you meet a man/woman and you could sell you mathe and her chicken and cat to hit it? When you get all hot and bothered just looking at his legs? For the first time EVER the heat/sun was my friend couz people have to wear shorts! This is that man! walahi I coulda sold Y'all had you been there! Heck I probably sold my grandmathe. This is how beautiful this man is: I could have stopped supporting Man U just for one night with this walking, talking temptation!
So did I hit it? (clearing throat)
Don't panic fellow passengers I have a mega rider for the bilaz train! Damn marriage vows!
I didn't even know that people still take those seriously! I mean!
Departure point:
Is it wrong to black out when kamataing strokes? (totally unrelated to my weekend)
Have a great week Y'all and hope next time I post I will be in my new home!
Am sure everyone knows why am crying!
pepo Mbaya, paka mweusi! Apparently while we were sleeping, Drogba went and became a world class player!
Mwangi, Kirima, Mocha, Pekiro and all manu fans? Mupo!
Archer, farmgirl: SHUD UFF!
We are the champs (officially) so I really can't complain this Monday. And I had a great great weekend. Since I officially blog on Mondays and the tagging business is over here are some random things that have amazed me recently:
1. Apparently there has been a discussion recently in the blog sphere about how bloggers should be compelled to reveal their identities so that people are more responsible for what they write...first off, I think I missed this discussion, and secondly Would you reveal your identity? if bloggers wanted to do that wouldn't they become journalists? And would your posts be the same if everyone knew who you were?
2. Ati, the population of bees is decreasing in the US, one bee keeper being interviewed said how they noticed that the bees' condition was changing....How on earth did they decide that? were the bees thinner perhaps, ama the wings were not fluttering as much? how? And the reason? Mobile phones! go figure
3. The in thing this days in new Mexico is restaurants for dogs! Sheeeeeesh.
4. EPL is over, FA and all other leagues will be over soon, Champions league was over when man u was chucked!(shidwe, pepo mbaya, paka mweusi Milan) ! cricket world cup over! what on earth will people be doing? why cant the ICC, FIFA and that rugby thing (no clue whatsoever) co-ordinate so that the events are spread out?
Obviously Iam dissolving into nothingness so Off I go!
Princess, umemaliza The innocent man? don't want to spoil it for you? (actually am waiting for your review!)
AGAIN?
Is this like a yearly event or something? Did I not over share last year? anyways. Thanks to Mwari and apparently inexes here goes:
1. I can never go out with someone I consider dumb! ever! sometime back I met this real eye candy, and things were progressing soo well, then he goes and asks if my hair grows dreadlocked! Needless to say, Have no idea where he is now!
2. I feel nothing for clothes, shoes or any latest fashions. I will often be in jeans and T shirt
3. If I perceive someone to be a snob, I will cut you off, I also cannot stand discrimination and bias of any type. (Age and size is the worst sort of discrimination because it is often soo subtle!)
4. I get bored very very easily! I have a very short attention span! I can tolerate a man whose strokes are average, or who is kinda poor, but never a man without a sense of humour!
5. Most women who have met me don't like me! Mostly couz I get along better with men. I grew up a tom boy and prefer to do things that are considered "manly" I ride motorbikes, drive tractors, climb trees (well not any more), can fix tyres, can do basic mechanics on my car, can have a one night stand! (eeh too much information)
6. I have a sister I don't get along with and we hardly ever talk.
7. This was really hard to do, especially couz I didnt want to repeat what I had said last year.
Bonus: though I majored in arts, am a genius with gadgets! (Hmmmm, just saying)
As a sign of my everlasting love for you guys, I have tagged you!
Bants
Jamvi
GND
Makanga
K.I.P.U.S.A
Can you tag Aggregator?
Alright, I have decided to give myself (actually its more for my dear customers!) a blogversary present by sprucing up my blog....... but I really can't decide on whether to stick with what I have and revamp it ama I move to word press.
I like word press couz you can like respond to a comment directly..........but that's about all I know. So wenyeji, can you please tell me the pros and cons of each!
BTW one of the spelling suggestions for wenyeji is wanker! No offense!
Currently reading: Innocent Man - John Grisham (will definitely post a review)
Listening to: What hurts the most- Rascal Flatts
Unbelievable! Its been one year since I joined KBW! Time does fly. I cant quiet remember how I discovered KBW, but I think I was googling something about Kenya and came across something mental had done.
Anyway sometimes when we are having those mind numbing meetings, I just sit there trolling the Internet. (You don't seriously think anyone pays attention at meetings!). Anyway one time I was reading my previous posts, and that first post was godawful! It was beyond boring! But it had my favorite picture...(if you look closely you will see the tusker in some swamp in Sudan!)
The most amazing thing is that, I have never stuck this long with a hobby, I have a very very short attention span and get easily bored, so staying at KBW for a whole year is totally news worthy. And in the process I learnt a few things about myself:
Does it look like I only post on Monday? Well I better start liking the day then!
Anyway, I am glad to report that I had a very good weekend. It rained which means the temperatures are at a managable level. And just to make the weekend even better, MAN U WON, CHELSEA DREW! he he he he....Swiftly moving on.
Don't you just Hate overachievers?
They make everyone else look sooo inadequate. Think about planet Australia for example, on Saturday they won the cricket world cup for the third time in a row! That sax! When they white washed England in the Ashes, I was happy (well mostly coz I never support England in any sport) But to win the world cup three times in a row? That's just plain rude!
That is the reason I stopped supporting Roger Federer until the day he was beaten! Now I can support him again. Because now he seems human.
I just don't understand the need to be that perfect. Is it an inferiority complex, or a need to prove something to the world? Is it enough to be the best and leave it at that, or do we need to prove over and over again that we are the best? Is it so wrong to be average?
People like Federer, Schumacher, Planet Australia, Sergey Bubka, are they that exceptional or is everyone else just not that good?
Spent the weekend watching House: You gotta love that guy. He is rude, abusive, arrogant but alas a genius.
Final thought: I heard a story about some archaeologist who has discovered that our great great great grandfathers were just as frisky as we are now. Threesomes, group sex, bestiality! Ooooh am trolling the Internet for that report.......Finally we have an answer to those shoshos who shake their heads and say "watoto wa siku hizi wame haribika." Its inherited!
Listening to: Over my head- The fray
Reading: (Just finished) Alone - Lisa Gardner (check Bookworms for my request!)
Ok I must confess I didn't write this (heck am not 50 yet!) but I wish I had!
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
5. And when God, who created the entire universe with all of its glories, decides to deliver a message to humanity, He WILL NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.
6. You should not confuse your career with your life.
7. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
8. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.
9. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
10. Never lick a steak knife.
11. Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.
12. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
13. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
14. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
15. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
16. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
17. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.
18. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
19. Your friends love you anyway.
You know how you wake up one morning and just feel like shit? Well, that is how I feel this morning.......Nothing major has happened (well except for the man U draw) but I feel like I hate every single person I meet this morning. And no its not PMS! (shidwe) Then I remember this quote that I read somewhere:
"All things come to those who wait, provided he knows what he is waiting for"
Then it hit me: Iam sooo fed up with Sudan, my job, my boss and my colleagues, am just waiting here for something to happen. Unfortunately I don't know what that is. I have reached a point where I really don't care what happens as long as something does. I do realise that I may have to make something happen, but I don't want to. I don't have the energy it will take to get off my ass at this particular moment. And I strongly suspect I will wake up kesho feeling slightly better. Well will wait and see.
Meanwhile I made this list just to cheer myself up:
You know that program "wife swap"? Well here are some people who should swap
First of let me declare that I love Sudan (south-couldn't give a F**** about the north) and all its people. (realise how we do that when we know that what we are going to say next will not be very flattering?) They have adopted me in a way I can not imagine or believe that Kenyans would. But the fact that I love them does not mean I can't see the wrong that is going on.
In the last 3 months I have been to almost every corner of this vast country (and it is big I tell you). The peace signing was hyped so much and it was seen as the second coming. It was like manna was gonna start falling the moment peace was signed....Every villager believed it. Everywhere you go they tell you the same thing. How they knew their lives would improve. Unfortunately this euphoria has turned into despair and distrust for the leaders- who are unelected.
This is the third year since the CPA was signed and nothing is happening. No schools are being built, no roads, no hospitals.
Many of the official are people who had fled the war to countries like Kenya, unfortunately they learnt a little too well from our Kenyan politicians how to get paid to do nothing. There are rumours that some government officials receive a salary but they live in the US and UK...........HOW ????????? Another rumour has it that ministers are paid 35,000 USD to go for treatment abroad. SERIOUSLY? whether this rumours are true or not, the fact remains that they are in the public perception and this is how the public views them.
What is not a rumour is that the equivalent of a Provincial Commissioner drivers around with almost 8 cars and more that 20 security guards. This show of affluence in the face of people who can barely afford one meal a day is unfortunately only matched by NGO's. Aaaaach African leaders when shall we learn.
Well, I better stop there before I get arrested like the so called Rumbek 6. Apparently there are quiet a number who have been arrested and remanded bila trial for eons........and try being arrested in a country without laws!
* SIGH*
Anyone who had any doubt that I was cured of my bloggaddiction just needs to look at the date of my last entry. I am happy to report that I am back to civilization- though am not very sure it is civilization after seeing the mount elgon clashes !
How is everyone?
Kwanza I would like to thank Bants for holding forte over at bookworms. (despite the fact that he was asking people to do reviews in Sheng........................*SMH*) Bants you are by far the most talented and probably the only sheng writer in the Kenyan Blog sphere. And am glad to report that he did not pull a "nation"Asante Bants.
Haya I believe you need to leave this country to appreciate the changes that have happened, the moment I landed my first impression was how clean Nairobi had become- but again that could be due to the fact that I had been in the bush! A few other things I have noticed:
Hi,
its been a while. hope everyone is doing good.
I have been in the bush and will be going back in the bush in the next day or so.
Therefore, this blogger will be out for a while.
I am looking for volunteer (s) to take up the honour that is managing Bookworms (yeah I know I have been doing a lazy ass job of managing it)
Bants Una roho?
Anyways
Mujienjoi!
Promise to come back with stories from the "new" improved sudan
That AD actually says : Give monthly and Deliver THEM from evil
Is it because am In a sad place right now? Or is it that I have seen where the money comtributed goes or is it really idiotic to put up such an Ad?
What is this evil that "they" are being delivered from? And who are "they"
Oh am such a Cynic
I already hate 2007............why you ask?
I distinctly remember ordering for a happy 2007. In fact I can vividly remember being woken up in the middle of the night on 31/12 /06 by text messages ordering me to have a happy new year. I was very specific complete with details. I was not ambiguous. My order went something like
1. Keep me alive in 2007
2. Keep me employed
3. Still be in love
4. Keep me healthy in 2007
5. Let "him" still be normal in 2007
6. And many more such like specific orders
How can that possibly be confusing. If I go to a bar and order for a beer, then I can understand if the bar man/ woman brings me Guinness- Non specific. But if I order for a Tusker Malt, then I bloody well want a Tusker Malt......
So why did I not get what I ordered for? Look again at number 5. I said normal! How does drinking alcohol in the morning (AT 7 AM) count as normal? Where is smoking 2 packets of cigarettes a day normal? I do not give a Fuck if you are on leave. Drinking before you even brush your teeth is wrong in my eyes and surely in the eyes of God and my ancestors! Musa Nyandusi himself will be turning over in his grave if I didn't kick this twit to the curb!
Ok you may have gathered by now that what I thought was a normal man, turned out to be CRAZY!! I smoke (yeah I know harmful to health and all) but seriously 2 packets a day is employing too many people at B.A.T.
I don't care whether two weeks ago I thought the sun rose and set on your ***. I will NOT subject myself to such crap. So over the weekend I told that man that it was sooo over. I have very irrational reactions to alcohol.
The strangest part is that am not sad or weepy (actually I never get weepy). But its as if the whole relationship never happened. I have never in my entire life had such a civilized break up. Maybe he is too full of alcohol to realize that he no longer has a girl friend. Aaaaach!
I am I over reacting or being over sensitive? Or dear God nit picking?
Is it me ama githongo is just beginning to become pointless?
Why on earth is he dolling out those tapes like they are vitamin pills?
Why can't he just unleash all of them once and for all and we get on with hating NARC or is it NARC(k)!
Enjoy your weekend Y'all
Almost a month since I posted anything? I do declare myself officially cured of my blogaddiction.
So how is the new year for everyone so far? Mine has been good so far (well except for that Manu V Arsenal match! still *smh*) I swore never to watch another match EVER, until I was watching some stupid program about the sexiest men in showbiz (hey don't ask, I was on leave dammit!) and Becks was in it. There was a clip of him taking a free kick and I guess I was supposed to be looking at his sexiness but all I could think about was "well did he score?" and I knew I would watch another match and another (basically for ever)
I did attend the World social forum and while I do applaud the effort the organisers put into it, I have to do some analysis here:
Organisation
Was very poor, too many events taking place at the same time, all doing/discussing basically the same thing. If you have 3 organisations talking about land rights, why should they be in different workshops? The programme was like 4 "east African" newspapers. It took quiet a while to figure out what was to happen where and when.
Food
How is it possible that Norfolk and Windsor were the only hotels that were allowed to have tents inside? Why? Which is why I (and I bet most onlookers) were happy that they were invaded.
Accommodation
How was it that someone pitched a tent (Desk) at the airport to receive ALL the guest? Apparently 3 companies were given the contracts to organise for the accommodation of participants.
Communication
What was it with celtel? why were participants being forced to get the celtel line?
Benefits
I'm hard to please but I gotta say that I met very many interesting organisations and people whom am sure I will be in touch with on a personal level for a very long time.
Achievements
But what did it achieve on a global scale? I saw one Director being interviewed about the forum and even she was at pains to explain what WSF has achieved over the last 7 meetings.
For me the most popular stand was the Gay and lesbians stand.
The most popular event by far was the protests about the price of food, celtel monopoly and entrance fee. I did join them for a few minutes but was too afraid to be caught on camera(LOL)
All in all, it was a well spent week away from the office.
So do share, did you attend WSF or the citizens forum at Jivanee?
Enjoy Y'all
Aiii, it looks like this will be a year of apologies.
Public flogging may be required but I really have no excuse for missing the meet up! I am totally ashamed to say that I was simply under the influence (and am not a pleasant person when under the influence!) Otherwise I have just finished reading about the meet up and looks like a good time was had by all.
To be perfectly honest, I was also a bit scared of meeting people and finally exposing myself. What if I discover that one of the bloggers is someone I have known my entire life? like my sister or best friend....... AAARRRGGH! Shockhorror. I still somehow want to remain unknown and I do like the mystery of wondering what everyone looks like. But lam working up some courage for the next meet up! I swear and I promise!
So My first apology of the year goes to everyone who was at the meet up and specifically Aegeus.
