Zen for those who take life too seriously- (COPIED)

> > 1. Save The Whales. Collect The Whole Set.
> > 2. A Day Without Sunshine Is Like, Night.
> > 3. On The Other Hand, You Have Different Fingers.
> > 4. I Just Got Lost In Thought. It Wasn't Familiar
> > Territory.
> > 5. 42.7 Percent Of All Statistics Are Made Up On The
> > Spot.
> > 6. Light Travels Faster Than Sound, Which Is Why
> > Some People Appear Bright
> > Until You Hear Them Speak.
> > 7. I Feel Like I'm Diagonally Parked In A Parallel
> > Universe.
> > 8. Honk If You Love Peace And Quiet.
> > 9. Remember, Half The People You Know Are Below
> > Average.
> > 10. He Who Laughs Last, Thinks Slowest.
> > 11. Depression Is Merely Anger Without Enthusiasm.
> > 12. The Early Bird May Get The Worm, But The Second
> > Mouse Gets The Cheese.
> > 13. I Drive Way Too Fast To Worry About Cholesterol.
> > 14. Support Bacteria. They're The Only Culture Some
> > People Have.
> > 15. Monday Is An Awful Way To Spend 1/7 Of Your
> > Week.
> > 16. A Clear Conscience Is Usually The Sign Of A Bad
> > Memory.
> > 17. Change Is Inevitable, Except From Vending
> > Machines.
> > 18. Get A New Car For Your Spouse. It'll Be A Great
> > Trade!
> > 19. Plan To Be Spontaneous Tomorrow.
> > 20. Always Try To Be Modest, And Be Proud Of It!
> > 21. If You Think Nobody Cares, Try Missing A Couple
> > Of Payments.
> > 22. How Many Of You Believe In Psycho-Kinesis? Raise
> > My Hand.
> > 23 . Ok, So What's The Speed Of Dark?
> > 24. How Do You Tell When You're Out Of Invisible
> > Ink?
> > 25. If Everything Seems To Be Going Well, You Have
> > Obviously Overlooked
> > Something.
> > 26. When Everything Is Coming Your Way, You're In
> > The Wrong Lane.
> > 27. Hard Work Pays Off In The Future. Laziness Pays
> > Off Now.
> > 28. Everyone Has A Photographic Memory. Some Just Do
> > Not Have Film.
> > 29. If Barbie Is So Popular, Why Do You Have To Buy
> > Her Friends?
> > 30. How Much Deeper Would The Ocean Be Without
> > Sponges?
> > 31. Eagles May Soar, But Weasels Do Not Get Sucked
> > Into Jet Engines.
> > 32. What Happens If You Get Scared Half To Death
> > Twice?
> > 33. I Used To Have An Open Mind But My Brains Kept
> > Falling Out.
> > 34. I Couldn't Repair Your Brakes, So I Made Your
> > Horn Louder.
> > 35. Why Do Psychics Have To Ask You For Your Name?
> > 36. Inside Every Older Person Is A Younger Person
> > Wondering What Happened.
> > 37. Just Remember - If The World Did Not Suck, We
> > Would All Fall Off.

AND FINALLY THE EARLY WORM IS CAUGHT BY THE BIRD- SO SLEEP MORE THIS WEEKEND

I curse thee oooh pilot- Dedicated to all those who are where they aint supposed to be

Living in southern Sudan ranks as the biggest challenge of my entire life. Anyone who knows me will tell you I love the good life. I love going out for a drink or two- BTW how I finished uni is beyond me and I love TV (I was once seriously addicted to TV and could plan my life around tv programs) Then I got a job in S.S and all this had to come to an end. For about 3 years, we didnt have TV, or Internet. And to this day there is still no bar. SS is one of the saddest place anyone can live. The poverty levels are too depressing. Literacy levels down there- like 5%.......Dont get me wrong there are some good things THE NILE is beeeautiful. (but that is a story for another day)

Anyway that is not why am sad today, that situation makes me sad daily.

But today I was to go home. i.e. nairobi. I was so excited about the fact that I would watch the WC finals- Go Italy- in a bar (with a beer), I would watch the Wimbledon finals, I would see my relas.......So there I was bags packed, spent half the night praying for no rain (airstrips are just cleared fields so if it rains and you are set to go out- my friend you are doomed)

enough said!!!!
I forgot to pray for one thing, which in my wildest dreams I would never imagine happening. The bloody pilots went on strike! on strike! are they serious..... Iam all for fighting for your rights, good pay blah blah blah..........but not when it affects me. No No No No. I know you are saying girl relax, chill out, take another flight. Nope, not happening, nada. because

1. We are not allowed to look at let alone board any flight that is not authorised by the UN
2. There is no other flights other than the one run by the UN

Now our flights come 3 times a week, Monday, wednesday and friday. Which means I don't get out till........riiiight

What is going to happen to all the beer I was going to drink? All the nyama choma I was gonna eat and all the sex i was gonna have? I made my (patience of Job) shagmate postpone his trip. After two months out here in the village, I need some.

Speaking of which, let me digress abit, Why is it that men are sooo afraid of womens sexuality- no let me qualify that, why are many men afraid of women who are comfortable and happy with their sexuality and not afraid to say what they want sexually and ready to participate in making sex a pleasurable experience? I would imagine that is the kind of woman most men would want. Who wants a woman who just lies there while you do all the work? Do you guys not want a woman who participates. After all aint we in the age of participatory blah blah

Remember that Joke that used to go around about the woman plaiting her hair during sex? Or the one of "ukimalize nifunike" LOL Seriously who wants that?

This is just my pent up anger at not being at home this weekend, things that dont go my way really really bring out the worst in me.

If you are in the right place this weekend, Enjoy and if like me you are in the wrong place- you are not alone and all this shall come to pass!

GO ITALY

so Mukhisa was carjacked? do I give a F?

I have not been writing for a while now, and have just been copy and pasting stuff from other sites. Dont know why, maybe bloggers block, or being busy? (na, didnt think so either seeing as I got the time to blog crawl ). Whatever the cause, havent felt much like putting in effort.

...........and then I read this and boy did my creative(sic) juices or was it anger, start flowing. Mukhisa Kituyi, trade minister (and sometime NARC's Nameless) was car jacked at gun point. For normal folks the reaction would be one of shock, horror and disbelief. But mine...greater joy than watching France beat brazil combined with italy beating germany - I mean kwani there is only 2 nations who know how to play soccer. Aaaand yenyewe was Ronaldhino even in germany ama hawezi kucheza bila Etoo. And halafu how Klinsmann is alive this morning I cant understand. The man was at the point of heart attack jana, you could see the bench guys pole pole moving behind every time Germans hit the woodworks. The man would scream and throw things much like Wayne Rooney after being substituted

oooo ya, back to Hon Kituyi. I work and live here:
(had a picture of my "town" here but it refused to up load- by the way what happens to those pictures when the kawindow goes like your images have been uploaded and then puff they disappear)
never mind- so I pay taxes so they can live in Runda, Karen et al
Once they get there, they forget who the fuck put that 2000 euro in his pocket and the bloody rolex watch. OK they didnt have to take the wedding band. On a DAILY basis, kenyans are car jacked in matatus, buses and personal cars. At the road, at their gates et al. But has anyone ever taken notice? nooooo. Do they care? are you kidding! Do they do anything about it? Are you out of your fucking mind!!!!! They have body guards (who BTW I pay for while I can not even afford to pay a watchie to make sure my (when I grow up I want to be a bus)-mini is not left on stones while the thugs sell my tires.

They spend my hard - really really hard earned money sleeping on benches at parliament- as if I dont pay them enough to buy queen size mattresses at slumberland. Making inane statements on DSTV super sports 3. seriously does anybody in kibera own DSTV or even have access to it. Do not kid yourself that those DSTV owning people are your voters, they are not. Why, why, oh why anyone would announce their candidature for presidency on a South African station is beyond me. Dancing with school girls at political rallies, like that will make life better for them or any one else for that matter. For heavens sake cant they just greet the tois? sheesh making young children spend time learning dance moves and (insert tribe)songs

So my problem is not that the whole lot of them are no good (fill in appropriate insult), my feelings about this story are: for just one day, one of them will understand what thousands of kenyans go through every single day. Will this change anything? Of course not! nothing changed when Martha and father were car jacked.

But on a human level, I sincerley feel sorry for ANYONE who goes through the trauma of a carjack. On a "haven't we been saying security is bad" level, I really feel nothing. And just to show them how much people dont care about them, the thugs didnt even recognize him. I would laugh but it is too sad.

Ok I do feel much much better now. And I swear one day I WILL blog about life in South Sudan, but am going home on friday so may not be soon. But in the meantime, if you know any Sudanese in the diaspora who needs to come back home, there are jobs galore for sudan nationals.