NINETEEN THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME 50 YEARS TO LEARN

Ok I must confess I didn't write this (heck am not 50 yet!) but I wish I had!

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

5. And when God, who created the entire universe with all of its glories, decides to deliver a message to humanity, He WILL NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.

6. You should not confuse your career with your life.

7. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

8. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.

9. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

10. Never lick a steak knife.

11. Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.

12. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

13. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

14. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

15. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

16. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

17. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.

18. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

19. Your friends love you anyway.

I hate mondays all over again!

You know how you wake up one morning and just feel like shit? Well, that is how I feel this morning.......Nothing major has happened (well except for the man U draw) but I feel like I hate every single person I meet this morning. And no its not PMS! (shidwe) Then I remember this quote that I read somewhere:

"All things come to those who wait, provided he knows what he is waiting for"

Then it hit me: Iam sooo fed up with Sudan, my job, my boss and my colleagues, am just waiting here for something to happen. Unfortunately I don't know what that is. I have reached a point where I really don't care what happens as long as something does. I do realise that I may have to make something happen, but I don't want to. I don't have the energy it will take to get off my ass at this particular moment. And I strongly suspect I will wake up kesho feeling slightly better. Well will wait and see.

Meanwhile I made this list just to cheer myself up:
You know that program "wife swap"? Well here are some people who should swap

• Justin Timber(lake) and Lenny Kravitz (JT thinks he is black and Kravitz has multiple tattoos and piercings)
• Beyonce and JLO (B thinks she is white and JLO has a black ass)
• Kamotho and Tuju (need I say more)
• Eve d Souza and Shanice (Eve knows black music better than most blacks while shanice should just go)
• Rick Dees and Walt baby Love
  
• Oprah and Ellen (In what must be the only joke 50 cent has ever made, he called Oprah an Oreo- black on the outside, white on the inside, LOOL. While Ellen does have black fun)

Please cheer me up and add some more Swaps!

Ok am off to wallow in my misery!
Enjoy your week Y'all

Currently reading: Jackie Collins: Hollywood Kids (I know)
Listening to: Blue October-Hate me